


a broken promise.

by IheartWestallen



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Depression, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 23:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12922170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IheartWestallen/pseuds/IheartWestallen
Summary: Iris notices Barry has been acting differently lately. He's been a little distant, and paler than usual. Not only Iris sees this, but the rest of the team and Joe sees it as well. Harry recommends Iris to do some secret investigation when Barry is alone, by himself.





	a broken promise.

Iris notices Barry has been acting differently lately. He's been a little distant, and paler than usual. Not only Iris sees this, but the rest of the team and Joe sees it as well. Harry recommends Iris to do some secret investigation when Barry is alone, by himself.   
  
Iris arrives home from work, and slowly opens the door. She takes her heels off so she won't be heard while walking in. Sniffs in the other room are heard.   
  
She carefully walks closer to the room and peaks through the corner. Barry is sitting on the corner of the bed, and slowly slides a razor across his arm. Iris' vision seems to get blurry as she walks over to the sink.   
  
She wipes her tears. "No no no no..." She whisperers to herself. She feels the tears come again. That explains why he has on the long dark sweaters, the way he mopes around, and how he doesn't talk much to anyone anymore. He's depressed.   
  
What about Joe? What will be think? Or the city, goodness herself if he were to kill himself...  
  
No. No she has to do something. Iris takes a deep breath and sits down on the couch. She opens her computer to Barry and her in a photo. She can't lose him. She just can't.   
  
Barry walks into the room and Iris pretends to be typing at something. Barry looks a little worried as Iris meets his gaze. "Barry? What is it?" Iris asks.  
  
"Are you okay?" Barry inquires as he sits next to her.   
  
Iris shook her head. She turns off her computer and sets it on the small table next to her. "When were you going to tell me?"  
  
Barry looks confused but the blood from his face drains a little. "About what?"  
  
Iris shakes her head. "That you are depressed!"   
  
Barry sighs and puts a hand on his face. "How did you know...?"  
  
Iris takes his arm softly and pulls back the sleeve. Old cuts and new ones that are slightly smeared by his shirt are seen on his arm. "This." She finally says after a moment. "I caught you cutting when I walked in."   
  
Barry pulls his arm away and tugs his sleeve down. "What's wrong Barry?" Iris asks, a quiver of fear in her voice.   
  
"It's nothing Iris...alright?"  
  
"No it is something Barry! Please..." She says as she holds his arm in her hands. "Tell me."  
  
Barry clenches his jaw and shakes his head. He looks down at his sweater as he pulls at the sleeve. "I found out why you haven't gotten pregnant yet." Barry tells her, still looking down. "I....can't get you pregnant. I found out a few weeks ago." Tears drop from Barry's eyes.  
  
Iris knew how badly he wants children. They would sit together when he had cases to work on and she had a paper, and Barry would constantly talk about names for their kids. He would also say things he would do with their kids when they have children. In between kisses he would murmur his love for her, and would place a hand on her stomach as if she were already pregnant. She wants children as well too, it never hurts to try again.   
  
Barry's body shakes at he begins to sob. Iris lifts his head and hugs him. He hugs back and cries into her shirt. "Barry...please don't be upset. We will find a way." She assures him.   
  
Barry let's the tears fall in her shirt for a good 5 minutes, and then pulls back. He looks down and shakes his head. Iris holds his face up and wipes his tears.   
  
  
She feels tears run down her own and she kisses him deeply. He returns the kiss, his hands coming to rest at her hips. Iris takes in Barry's breath and continues to kiss him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She feels Barry edge into the kiss and sigh on her lips. They both pull back, foreheads touching. She puts her hands on the side of his face and kisses his head.   
  
"Barry....please don't leave me.." She pleads as she holds his arm.   
  
Barry shakes his head. "I won't. I promise." He says. He hugs her and gets up. "I'll be back."   
  
Iris nods and she pulls out her computer again, and puts ear buds in her ear. After 30 minutes, Iris is halfway through her paper. She sighs and goes to check up on him. She walks into the room. No Barry. Bathroom and bedroom. Nothing.  
  
She shakes her head and walks back to her computer. You're getting too paranoid Iris. She continues to type up her story, her fingers accidentally typing her thoughts.  
  
She finishes and pulls out some incense. After she sets the flame, a waft of cigarette smoke makes its way into the loft. Iris rolls her eyes. _Neighbors_. But when she went to close the window, it wasn't the neighbors. It was Barry.  
  
Iris throws open the door and grabs the cigarette out of his hands. Barry looks startled and confused as she squashes the joint with her foot. "Barry what are you doing!?" She inquired as she eyes the beer bottles, and sryinges. "What is this!?"  
  
Barry coughs and looks at Iris. "I found out how to get high." He says in a deep husky voice. He rubbed his hands together, shivering a little.  
  
"Barry no! Don't do this to yourself!" Iris yells. "I already have enough stress in the world! I can't have anymore!"  
  
Barry drops the drugs. Iris tears up and holds Barry's hand. "Honey....please...." She pleads.  
  
"You're right. I never should have done this." Barry tells her. "I'm sorry...I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not the Barry you know and love."  
  
Iris shakes head. "Barry....you will always be my Barry. No matter what."   
  
Barry looks at her. "I'm tired of doing this...."  
  
"It will all get better."  
  
"I'll believe you..."  
  
Iris nods and hugs him. "Let's get some rest." Iris suggests.  
  
~•~•~~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~  
  
Iris wakes to a slight chill. "Barry turn on the heat please. It's cold."  
  
No reply.  
  
"Babe?"  
  
She gets up and looks to her side. Barry isn't there. _Could he have possibly...._  
  
Iris quickly throws on her robe on and franticly looks around the loft. Barry is no where to be seen. Iris pulls out her phone and quickly calls Cisco.  
  
"Cisco I'm sorry to wake you but I can't find Barry anywhere! Could you help me find him?!" Iris asks him as she put on her shoes.  
  
"Yeah I'll find him but may I ask why?"  
  
"He's suicidal I found out last night!"  
  
"Oh my gosh yes! I'll do it! Just relax okay? He probably went to work or something!"  
  
"Okay just please hurry. I am too worried about..."  
  
"Yeah I know! Okay see you!"  
  
Iris hangs up and franticly calls Barry. "Come on come on...." She says as she paces.  
  
No answer.   
  
_Hey this is Barry Allen. I'm currently busy at the moment. I'll catch up with you later. Please leave your message at the beep. *beep*_  
  
"Hey Barry this is Iris. I just wanted to know if your safe....if your okay. Please call me back. I'm worried sick. Thanks. Bye."  
  
She hangs and she rubs her hands in her hair. _Don't freak out Iris...he's just probably taking a morning walk._  
  
_But he never took morning walks before..._  
  
She isn't going to assume anything. Not when he is in his mental situation now. Iris throws on her coat and runs outside. She quickly gets in her car and heads toward CCPD, running a nervous shaky hand through her hair.   
  
Iris pulls in and runs into the building. Cisco is walking down from the staircase leading from Barry's lab. "Cisco! No luck?" She asks him.  
  
He shakes his head. "None at all." He says. Iris gives an exasperated sigh and turns, ramming into Joe.   
  
"Iris? What--"  
  
"Dad! Have you seen Barry this morning?"  
  
Joe shakes his head. "No I didn't...why what's going on?"  
  
"Barry's depressed! We can't find him!"  
  
Joe goes wide eyed. "Why didn't you tell me--"  
  
"Look we will explain when we find him. Who knows what's going on?!" Cisco cries. Everyone nods.  
  
"Where next?" Iris asks.  
  
"S.T.A.R Labs! He might be there!" Cisco exclaims.   
  
Cisco runs out side and throws a portal to existence.They all jump through the portal and land in S.T.A.R Labs. Iris, Joe and Cisco break into a run.   
  
"Barry!!"  
  
"Barry where are you?!"  
  
"Barry?!"  
  
The search all through out the lab. Iris stops. "The pipeline...." She says. Of course they forgot the pipeline. All of them run into the pipeline where they see Caitlin on her knees.  
  
Cisco approaches her. "Caitlin?" He asks.  
  
Caitlin turns around and her face is covered in tears. "Barry.....he..." She starts. She then breaks into tears and points to the cell.   
  
Everyone looks at where her finger was leading. Inside, Barry's body lay there with his eyes shut. His hand held a small knife with dried blood, and the other hand had a small test tube. He poisoned himself.   
  
Iris covers her mouth and began to sob. Joe holds her to him and he starts to tear up as well. Cisco's face becomes wet with tears.   
  
"I tried to unlock the door but...he hacked the system somehow...." She croaks.  
  
Cisco hugs Caitlin and she cried in his arms. Iris pulls away from Joe, tears streaming down her face.   
  
She looks at the cell, where her dead husband lay. "He promised..." She chokes.  
  
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•  
  
Joe sent Iris home so he could remove Barry's body from the cell with the help of CCPD.  
  
Iris cries and morns as she holds a picture of  once the her love of her life closely to her chest. Iris feels a little woosy and sips some of her water.   
  
She then goes into the bathroom and tried to steady herself. After a few moments, Iris rips open another pregnancy stick box, the last one she was going to ever use.   
  
After doing the necessary procedures to help the stick test if there is something in her belly, she looks at the stick. Perhaps, there is something in her belly.  
  
Two lines shows up on the stick. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading guys....  
> I know this is a tough thing to read about, but if you are feeling depressed and suicidal, it's not the way. The reason behind Barry dying was to show that everyone gets affected. Everyone cares believe it or not. I hope for anyone who has a depressed friend or family member follow the right steps to help them. 
> 
> Have a good day, and many more days to come. :)


End file.
